Quotes from my Journal – Part 3

Hi everyone! I’m back!

I’m continuing with the last journal I started a couple months ago but never got around to finishing it.

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This is what the journal looks like. It’s my first journal. I started it when I was a freshman in High School in 2009, but I stopped writing in it after a couple months that year. I didn’t write in it until after I graduated High School in 2012. And ever since then I’ve found solace and comfort in journaling. I’m already on my 15th journal right now.

Alright then…I guess I’ll begin quoting myself 🙂

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“Sometimes I wish I can go through one of those machines, and I go in one person but come out a better version of that person. Like some kind of science experiment like Captain America.”

-February 15th, 2013

“I hate disappointing people, but yet I do it anyway. I know that I’m only ruining my life – but at the same (time) like I feel like I’m ruining everyone else’s.”

-February 16th, 2013

“Unfortunately time machines don’t exist and you have no other choice but to accept the choices and actions you made and let it go.”

-February 17th, 2013

“One thing I know is that I don’t want this life of nothingness and blankness [to] be my future. I want it to end here and now.”

-February 24th, 2013

“I just wish there was some manual, an instruction pamphlet on making changes with your life. Or maybe a 12 step program on getting things done or goal setting. But, that’s now life works – some things you just have figure out your own.”

– March 8th, 2013

“I’m just tired of feeling like my life is in gutter. It’s like I’m Cinderella and I’m just waiting the fairy godmother. I need direction…”

– March 12th, 2013

Alright. That’s it for now. I’ll finish it the next time.

It’s weird looking back at my old journals, re-reading my negative thoughts. In case you haven’t deduced yet from the tone of my past entries, I was going a through a bad time that year. Getting kicked out of school, trying to find a job, being home mostly by myself with no friends to talk to…the sun was not shining on those days. So, I vented in my journal. In my pink Mickey Mouse journal from Disney World. And it saved me from falling apart and from giving up. So, I’m grateful that I found a light inside the blank pages tucked inside a pretty cover.

Quotes from my Journal: Part 2

In my last post were quotes from my current journal. This post is from my first journal.

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my first journal

 

It was a cute pink, mickey mouse journal that my sister bought me in Disney World. With this journal, I actually started it in the summer of 2008, but stopped somewhere around February 2009. I didn’t start writing in it until after I graduated high school in 2012. 

It’ll be interesting to read some of the thoughts I had back then.

 

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“I just want to stop being lazy. Ha! I’m saying that like it’s some easy kind of thing. I need to take steps, small steps, but I don’t know what steps to take first. Ugh.”

“Sometimes I wish that life had a manual that made getting through it much easier.”

“Sometimes I feel like life is like this algebraic equation and I don’t know how to solve it. Maybe I’m not suppose to solve it. Maybe the equation is meant to be undefined.”

June 10, 2012

“It’s so much easier to close my eyes and envision the life I always wanted, than have my eyes [wide] open and see my life not getting any better.”

“Why is it so hard to be happy but so easy to be sad?”

“I’m so tired of this pity sign I’m holding. I just want to accept my life and maybe then big changes will happen.”

June 11, 2012

 “I feel like my life is over, but I’m only 19 years old. If anything my life is ready to take flight. These are the years where I can figure [out] who I am.”

“I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired…ugh, I’m just tired.”

September 27, 2012

“But, I should get over it because it’s another pattern. I like a guy, we become friends, I like him even more, but he just likes me as a friend. I get a little heart broken…”

September 28, 2012

 

To be continued…

Quotes from my Journal

Inspired by Thought Catalog, I decided to share a couple excerpts from my journals. Hope you enjoy the randomness of my scattered mind. These quotes are from my current journal. I’m too lazy to get my older ones. Later on, I’ll share quotes from my older journals. But, until then…enjoy!

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“I hate it when I’m hungry and my stomach does this, like, crescendo of growls.”

November 17, 2014 

“It was beautiful. The quietness and empitiness and solidarity gave (college name) an aesthetic I never noticed before.”

November 17, 2014

“Damn you wind! Damn you for blowing debris in my eye!”

November 19, 2014 

“And now that I feel this dream slipping away slowly…I just can’t let it go…even though life’s taking it away from me…”

November 25, 2014

“It was super cold today. But, I shouldn’t be surprised because it’s November. But, with this bipolar weather that’s been happening lately – I’m not really sure what’s what.”

November 26, 2014

“Right now, at this current point in my life, I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. My future is unclear, and it looks kind of dark.”

December 4, 2014

“This is my problem, when I act I don’t think about the future. How it’s going to effect it? I just do it – self destruct, as if everything will be the same when I build myself up again. But, when am I going to learn that that’s not how life works. Especially when you’re an adult. Actions have consequences.”

December 4, 2014

“I can’t wait for Wednesday! I’ll be free from this madness.”

December 9, 2014 

“I have crossed the finish line. It doesn’t matter if I came out first or last.

December 10, 2014

 

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